Gerco van Deventer’s wife: ‘I’ve been tried in these six years, but I’ve grown closer to God’

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2024-03-14 at 01:12 #442203

Nat Quinn
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Gerco van Deventer’s wife: ‘I’ve been tried in these six years, but I’ve grown closer to God’

In the six years that her husband Gerco van Deventer was a hostage in Mali, Shereen faced many challenges. She had to go find a job. She had to fight to keep the roof over their head. For the first time, her faith was truly tested.

“Nothing can really prepare you for the news that your husband has been kidnapped and taken prisoner. After the eight years that Gerco had been in Afghanistan, we thought that Libya would be a safer place to work in. But when news of Gerco’s kidnapping sank in, it was simply crushing. Your whole world is tumbling down.”

So tells Shereen van Deventer, who has been living in Swellendam for eight years.

“The question ‘what now?’ ground over and over in my head.”

“Am I strong enough?”

For a very long time, for the sake of Gerco’s safety, Shereen was not allowed to relay any information about Gerco to relatives and friends. “It was very difficult. Fortunately, my parents were very supportive from the outset. I could share everything with them.”

In the first six months after Gerco’s abduction, Shereen slept badly. She didn’t know what was going on, what Gerco had to go through. The fear of them abusing him kept her awake. She prayed for his safety, as well as for the Father to strengthen his faith.

The emotional challenges were the worst, she says. “Can I make good decisions?” she asked herself. “Am I strong enough?”

She had to be a single mother. And the financial challenges were huge. “It wasn’t easy to be a housewife one day and start working the next. Once upon a time, the emotional support I had from Gerco was no longer there. It demands a lot from a human being.

“Besides, it was hard to tell the kids what happened to Gerco. They were still small then. But I had to be honest with them. I had to tell them what was happening to their father to turn their whole world on its head.

“I had to assure them that the Father was watching out for him, that we didn’t have to worry about him. I had to try to keep their faith strong, tell them that their father still loves them, even though they can’t connect with him.

“I had to try and keep his image and the memories of him alive. I allowed them to cry over him, I cherished them. We prayed for him together.”

‘I had to make plans to survive’

“When I think back on everything now, the financial burden was the heaviest. Those first three years after Gerco left…

“At first I was angry with him because I didn’t know exactly what our money matters looked like. But I also realized it doesn’t help to be angry. After all, he hadn’t planned on getting me into this situation.

“I had to figure out how to pay for the house and the cars, I had to make plans to survive. I sat at the Lord’s feet and wept over this. Without an income, I wouldn’t be able to bring those things up.”

The bank came to pick up the cars.

“I felt like a failure. In time, I realized it’s just earthly stuff, it’s not really important. Prayer was my only way out.

“Because my parents stayed with me, I was fortunately able to use their vehicle.

“To keep our house I had to talk to the bank manager to help me. The Father sent the right people my way. He showed me what plan to follow.”

“I’m currently trying to live out my faith to the fullest now that Gerco is safely home. I try to make sure I don’t fall back into all sorts of old habits,” Shereen says. Photo supplied

“Some days I was strong…”

Shereen was able to find administrative work on a farm outside Swellendam.

Then there was food on the table. “You can’t sit back and wait for the Father to drop something in your lap.

“The other benefit of the job was that I had something to occupy my mind with, something else to do than brood over the situation.”

During this time, Shereen increasingly turned to her Father. He gave her wisdom, calmed her down, and designated the path for her. “Some days I was strong, other days I just wanted to cry.”

In retrospect, Shereen says, she also realized that there were things in her and Gerco’s relationship that they needed to work on. That, among other things, they had to live even closer to the Father.

She knew that her situation was not his fault; it was the result of their own choices and decisions. Therefore, in the hard years, she was never angry with God. Instead, she was grateful for how He had helped her handle things so well in her difficult circumstances.

In the six years that Gerco has been hostage, Shereen has received seven videos of him to prove that he is alive. “Watching these videos was traumatic. But it also encouraged me.

“There was one in which he cried, and I didn’t know what to think of it. It did upset me. I could also see how much weight he lost.”

In 2020, another setback hit Shereen when her father found out he had cancer. “It was very traumatic to see my father fall ill and wither away. Moreover, it was during the time of Covid-19 and doctors’ appointments were difficult to come by.

“I tried to stay positive. My father turned around at death, and today he is cancer-free and healthy. It made me realize again how good the Father is to us.”

To hear Gerco’s voice again

When Shereen heard that Gerco was going to be released, she was skeptical. “But when he called and I heard his voice, it was like there was a mountain rolling off my shoulders. I was able to breathe for the first time. Thank you, Lord, he really is out of the wilderness, and free!

“The six years during which no communication was possible really felt like 40 years.

“I was hoping that he would come back strengthened in his faith. But, I wondered, might he not have been abused? Has he changed much?

“Then he stood in front of me. I didn’t recognize him at first. He was very thin. He looked like a stranger.

“But my son ran up to him and grabbed hold of him, and then I realized it was really him. I was so relieved! We all hugged each other, we wept together and together we thanked the Father for being safe.

“Both of us have changed. I’m gutted. My faith grew stronger in those six years. Gerco grew just as much in his faith. We now know we’re ‘there’ for each other.

“I’m currently trying to live out my faith to the fullest now that Gerco is safely home. I try to make sure I don’t fall back into all sorts of old habits.

“My prayer is that we will continue to grow in our relationship with the Father. That he will make me and Gerco’s relationship ever stronger.

“For he is the Potter and we the clay. Sometimes He has to tear you down first, work on you, and then build on you. Only in this way can your relationship with him deepen.”
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Gerco van Deventer’s wife: ‘I’ve been tried in these six years, but I’ve grown closer to God’

In the six years that her husband Gerco van Deventer was a hostage in Mali, Shereen faced many challenges. She had to go find a job. She had to fight to keep the roof over their head. For the first time, her faith was truly tested.

So tells Shereen van Deventer, who has been living in Swellendam for eight years.

“The question ‘what now?’ ground over and over in my head.”

“Am I strong enough?”

For a very long time, for the sake of Gerco’s safety, Shereen was not allowed to relay any information about Gerco to relatives and friends. “It was very difficult. Fortunately, my parents were very supportive from the outset. I could share everything with them.”

In the first six months after Gerco’s abduction, Shereen slept badly. She didn’t know what was going on, what Gerco had to go through. The fear of them abusing him kept her awake. She prayed for his safety, as well as for the Father to strengthen his faith.

The emotional challenges were the worst, she says. “Can I make good decisions?” she asked herself. “Am I strong enough?”

She had to be a single mother. And the financial challenges were huge. “It wasn’t easy to be a housewife one day and start working the next. Once upon a time, the emotional support I had from Gerco was no longer there. It demands a lot from a human being.

“Besides, it was hard to tell the kids what happened to Gerco. They were still small then. But I had to be honest with them. I had to tell them what was happening to their father to turn their whole world on its head.

“I had to assure them that the Father was watching out for him, that we didn’t have to worry about him. I had to try to keep their faith strong, tell them that their father still loves them, even though they can’t connect with him.

“I had to try and keep his image and the memories of him alive. I allowed them to cry over him, I cherished them. We prayed for him together.”

‘I had to make plans to survive’

“When I think back on everything now, the financial burden was the heaviest. Those first three years after Gerco left…

“At first I was angry with him because I didn’t know exactly what our money matters looked like. But I also realized it doesn’t help to be angry. After all, he hadn’t planned on getting me into this situation.

“I had to figure out how to pay for the house and the cars, I had to make plans to survive. I sat at the Lord’s feet and wept over this. Without an income, I wouldn’t be able to bring those things up.”

The bank came to pick up the cars.

“I felt like a failure. In time, I realized it’s just earthly stuff, it’s not really important. Prayer was my only way out.

“Because my parents stayed with me, I was fortunately able to use their vehicle.

“To keep our house I had to talk to the bank manager to help me. The Father sent the right people my way. He showed me what plan to follow.”

“I’m currently trying to live out my faith to the fullest now that Gerco is safely home. I try to make sure I don’t fall back into all sorts of old habits,” Shereen says. Photo supplied

“Some days I was strong…”

Shereen was able to find administrative work on a farm outside Swellendam.

Then there was food on the table. “You can’t sit back and wait for the Father to drop something in your lap.

“The other benefit of the job was that I had something to occupy my mind with, something else to do than brood over the situation.”

During this time, Shereen increasingly turned to her Father. He gave her wisdom, calmed her down, and designated the path for her. “Some days I was strong, other days I just wanted to cry.”

In retrospect, Shereen says, she also realized that there were things in her and Gerco’s relationship that they needed to work on. That, among other things, they had to live even closer to the Father.

She knew that her situation was not his fault; it was the result of their own choices and decisions. Therefore, in the hard years, she was never angry with God. Instead, she was grateful for how He had helped her handle things so well in her difficult circumstances.

In the six years that Gerco has been hostage, Shereen has received seven videos of him to prove that he is alive. “Watching these videos was traumatic. But it also encouraged me.

“There was one in which he cried, and I didn’t know what to think of it. It did upset me. I could also see how much weight he lost.”

In 2020, another setback hit Shereen when her father found out he had cancer. “It was very traumatic to see my father fall ill and wither away. Moreover, it was during the time of Covid-19 and doctors’ appointments were difficult to come by.

“I tried to stay positive. My father turned around at death, and today he is cancer-free and healthy. It made me realize again how good the Father is to us.”

To hear Gerco’s voice again

When Shereen heard that Gerco was going to be released, she was skeptical. “But when he called and I heard his voice, it was like there was a mountain rolling off my shoulders. I was able to breathe for the first time. Thank you, Lord, he really is out of the wilderness, and free!

“The six years during which no communication was possible really felt like 40 years.

“I was hoping that he would come back strengthened in his faith. But, I wondered, might he not have been abused? Has he changed much?

“Then he stood in front of me. I didn’t recognize him at first. He was very thin. He looked like a stranger.

“But my son ran up to him and grabbed hold of him, and then I realized it was really him. I was so relieved! We all hugged each other, we wept together and together we thanked the Father for being safe.

“Both of us have changed. I’m gutted. My faith grew stronger in those six years. Gerco grew just as much in his faith. We now know we’re ‘there’ for each other.

“I’m currently trying to live out my faith to the fullest now that Gerco is safely home. I try to make sure I don’t fall back into all sorts of old habits.

“My prayer is that we will continue to grow in our relationship with the Father. That he will make me and Gerco’s relationship ever stronger.

“For he is the Potter and we the clay. Sometimes He has to tear you down first, work on you, and then build on you. Only in this way can your relationship with him deepen.”